I Should Be Doing Something Else But I Did This
12:22 p.m. - September 13, 2003

From the journal of Goddess KiKi:

[my name is]: Emily

[in the morning i am]: ambivalent

[love is]: just there on the other side of the screen�where I can�t get to it

[i dream about]: celebrities, sex (sometimes with celebrities), people I haven�t seen in a long time

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-

[what do you notice first?]: their eyes and their smile�and maybe their hair

[last person u slow danced with]: some old guy at karoake

-W H O-

[do you have a crush on?]: �crush� � what a word. I don�t think I�m crushing on anyone right now. Maybe Joe.

[easiest to talk to]: just about anyone

-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-

[fallen for your best friend]: he wasn�t my best friend but I�ve certainly fallen for a friend

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-

[you talked to on the phone]: technically a customer or a sales rep but Tim was the last person I talked to that meant anything

[hugged]: Wes - a co-worker who gives good hugs.

[you instant messaged]: Amber

[you laughed with]: someone at work, I�m sure � life�s a constant laugh there. And, yes, there was a hint of sarcasm in that statement.

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-

[could you live without the computer?]: No way.

[what's your favorite food?]: Nachos. With sour cream.

[what�s your favorite fruit?]: Apples.

[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: I agree with Kiki on this one. She wrote: �physical pain is fleeting, emotional pain can leave scars that haunt you forever.� Ditto.

[trust others way too easily?]: Sometimes. I�m learning otherwise.

-N U M B E R-

[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: Six billion.

[of hearts i have broken?]: Eight billion.

[of boys i have kissed?]: I�m twenty-nine. Does anyone really think I could put a number on this?

[of girls i have kissed?]: One.

[of drugs taken illegally?]: Two.

[of tight friends?]: One.

[of cd's that i own?]: Too many too count�but may be an interesting task for a bored day.

[of scars on my body?]: Several. One from having drunken sex in the hallway of this place where I used to work. I�m pretty damned proud of that scar.

[of things in my past that i regret?]: Let�s not go into that.

-O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.-

[i know]: I�m gonna be okay.

[i want]: to know where I�ll be in a year.

[i have]: a lot to think about.

[i wish]: I could get a few things straightened out right now.

[i hate]: not a whole lot really. Being alone.

[i miss]: having a boyfriend (and I hate that I just typed that)

[i fear]: being childless

[i hear]: a lawnmower and the hum of my computer

[i search]: for a little happiness

[i love]: my friends and family

[i ache]: for human touch

[i care]: about my friends, my family, my future and my cats

[i always]: think about things too much

[i dance]: when the mood strikes me

[i cry]: a lot recently

[i do not always]: take care of myself

[i write]: not as much as I should

[i confuse]: several people

[i can usually be found]: Just that. I can usually be found.

[i need]: see [i ache]

-S.W.I.T.C.H.I.N.G. G.E.A.R.S.-

[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: no, I don�t think so

[if so, when and with who]:

[favorite place to be kissed?]: lips, neck

[have you ever been caught "doing something"]: kissing perhaps � PDA, you now

-W.O.R.D. A.S.S.O.C.I.A.T.I.O.N.-

[wuss]: argh

[druggie]: got nothing here

[gang member]: or here

[daydreamer]: me

[alcoholic]: me, on occasion

[freak]: Tim

[brat]: Maggie

[sarcastic]: too many to list

[goody-goody]: wow, I don�t know ANYONE who is a goody-goody

[angel]: is the name of a girl I went to high school with.

[devil]: ish Diva - Evil Me

[friend]: Deb � can�t wait for her to get back from Florida

[shy]: sometimes

[talkative]: oh yeah

[adventurous]: would like to be�though I was going to get the chance to be

[intelligent]: less than people think

-Concerning.The.Friends.-(You.Claim.To.Have)-

[impacted you the most spiritually]: drawing a blank on this one

[wish you saw more often]: Daryl

[most sarcastic]: the boys I work with

[wish you knew better]: Amber

[knows you best]: Debbie

[best outlook on life]: Debbie

[most paranoid]: me

[sweetest]: Debbie

-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do-

[your best feature (personality)]: I�m cheerful when I don�t really want to be cheerful.

[your biggest flaw (personality)]: I�m cheerful when I don�t really want to be cheerful.

[most annoying thing you do]: Bite my nails and agonize over small details

[biggest mistake you've made this far]: Taking Big�s card when he handed it to me

[describe your personality in one word]: Likable

[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: My smile

[person you regret sleeping with]: Too many to list�and if I regretted it I probably don�t remember his name anyway

[height]: 5'2" and a quarter

[a smell that makes you smile]: Babies

[a city you'd like to visit]: Country really - italy

[a drink you order most often]: Diet Coke

[a delicious dessert]: Phish Food Ice Cream

[a book you highly recommend]: Breakfast at Tiffany�s

[the music you prefer while alone]: 80�s music

[your favorite band]: More a soloist kind of gal

[a film you could watch over and over]: When Harry Met Sally

[a TV show you watch regularly]: Good Eats - when I can drag my ass out of bed before nine thirty on weekends

[you live in a(n)]: An apartment

[your transportation]: My black Beetle which needs a name and to be washed and waxed

[your cologne or perfume]: Issy Miyake

[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: Gift wrapping stuff and sewing stuff

[something important on your night table]: Chapstick on one�my secret wicker box on the other

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