I Should Be Doing Something Else But I Did This
12:22 p.m. - September 13, 2003
From the journal of Goddess KiKi:
[my name is]: Emily
[in the morning i am]: ambivalent
[love is]: just there on the other side of the screen�where I can�t get to it
[i dream about]: celebrities, sex (sometimes with celebrities), people I haven�t seen in a long time
-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: their eyes and their smile�and maybe their hair
[last person u slow danced with]: some old guy at karoake
-W H O-
[do you have a crush on?]: �crush� � what a word. I don�t think I�m crushing on anyone right now. Maybe Joe.
[easiest to talk to]: just about anyone
-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: he wasn�t my best friend but I�ve certainly fallen for a friend
-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: technically a customer or a sales rep but Tim was the last person I talked to that meant anything
[hugged]: Wes - a co-worker who gives good hugs.
[you instant messaged]: Amber
[you laughed with]: someone at work, I�m sure � life�s a constant laugh there. And, yes, there was a hint of sarcasm in that statement.
-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[could you live without the computer?]: No way.
[what's your favorite food?]: Nachos. With sour cream.
[what�s your favorite fruit?]: Apples.
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: I agree with Kiki on this one. She wrote: �physical pain is fleeting, emotional pain can leave scars that haunt you forever.� Ditto.
[trust others way too easily?]: Sometimes. I�m learning otherwise.
-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: Six billion.
[of hearts i have broken?]: Eight billion.
[of boys i have kissed?]: I�m twenty-nine. Does anyone really think I could put a number on this?
[of girls i have kissed?]: One.
[of drugs taken illegally?]: Two.
[of tight friends?]: One.
[of cd's that i own?]: Too many too count�but may be an interesting task for a bored day.
[of scars on my body?]: Several. One from having drunken sex in the hallway of this place where I used to work. I�m pretty damned proud of that scar.
[of things in my past that i regret?]: Let�s not go into that.
-O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.-
[i know]: I�m gonna be okay.
[i want]: to know where I�ll be in a year.
[i have]: a lot to think about.
[i wish]: I could get a few things straightened out right now.
[i hate]: not a whole lot really. Being alone.
[i miss]: having a boyfriend (and I hate that I just typed that)
[i fear]: being childless
[i hear]: a lawnmower and the hum of my computer
[i search]: for a little happiness
[i love]: my friends and family
[i ache]: for human touch
[i care]: about my friends, my family, my future and my cats
[i always]: think about things too much
[i dance]: when the mood strikes me
[i cry]: a lot recently
[i do not always]: take care of myself
[i write]: not as much as I should
[i confuse]: several people
[i can usually be found]: Just that. I can usually be found.
[i need]: see [i ache]
-S.W.I.T.C.H.I.N.G. G.E.A.R.S.-
[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: no, I don�t think so
[if so, when and with who]:
[favorite place to be kissed?]: lips, neck
[have you ever been caught "doing something"]: kissing perhaps � PDA, you now
-W.O.R.D. A.S.S.O.C.I.A.T.I.O.N.-
[wuss]: argh
[druggie]: got nothing here
[gang member]: or here
[daydreamer]: me
[alcoholic]: me, on occasion
[freak]: Tim
[brat]: Maggie
[sarcastic]: too many to list
[goody-goody]: wow, I don�t know ANYONE who is a goody-goody
[angel]: is the name of a girl I went to high school with.
[devil]: ish Diva - Evil Me
[friend]: Deb � can�t wait for her to get back from Florida
[shy]: sometimes
[talkative]: oh yeah
[adventurous]: would like to be�though I was going to get the chance to be
[intelligent]: less than people think
-Concerning.The.Friends.-(You.Claim.To.Have)-
[impacted you the most spiritually]: drawing a blank on this one
[wish you saw more often]: Daryl
[most sarcastic]: the boys I work with
[wish you knew better]: Amber
[knows you best]: Debbie
[best outlook on life]: Debbie
[most paranoid]: me
[sweetest]: Debbie
-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do-
[your best feature (personality)]: I�m cheerful when I don�t really want to be cheerful.
[your biggest flaw (personality)]: I�m cheerful when I don�t really want to be cheerful.
[most annoying thing you do]: Bite my nails and agonize over small details
[biggest mistake you've made this far]: Taking Big�s card when he handed it to me
[describe your personality in one word]: Likable
[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: My smile
[person you regret sleeping with]: Too many to list�and if I regretted it I probably don�t remember his name anyway
[height]: 5'2" and a quarter
[a smell that makes you smile]: Babies
[a city you'd like to visit]: Country really - italy
[a drink you order most often]: Diet Coke
[a delicious dessert]: Phish Food Ice Cream
[a book you highly recommend]: Breakfast at Tiffany�s
[the music you prefer while alone]: 80�s music
[your favorite band]: More a soloist kind of gal
[a film you could watch over and over]: When Harry Met Sally
[a TV show you watch regularly]: Good Eats - when I can drag my ass out of bed before nine thirty on weekends
[you live in a(n)]: An apartment
[your transportation]: My black Beetle which needs a name and to be washed and waxed
[your cologne or perfume]: Issy Miyake
[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: Gift wrapping stuff and sewing stuff
[something important on your night table]: Chapstick on one�my secret wicker box on the other