Depressed Mess
4:19 p.m. - September 06, 2003

Bored bored bored.

I fucking hate weekends. Not too fond of weekdays either but weekends are the worst.

I'm willing the phone to ring but also glaring at it angrily every time I walk by it to keep myself from picking it up and dialing some number, his or perhaps the hotel where I think he might be staying if he got rid of the apartment down the street.

I'm also trying to talk myself into going downtown alone tonight. Into cleaning myself up and going to sit at the bar alone where I would try not to look too desperate for conversation.

You know, I even kind of hate the fact that I'm Sushi Chick. When I moved from my other diary I picked that name since we had sushi on our first Real Date. He says the night we met was our first real date but come on, my best friend was there and at the end of the night, even though he gave me his business card, I never thought I'd see him again. He doesn't have much experience in dating. Two weeks ago this Tuesday...that was the first time he ever "broke up" with anyone.

Which makes me wonder if he really was seperated for all that time. Wouldn't a seperation technically be breaking up?

I'm a depressed mess. Depressed and fucking lonely. I really was beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel that began way back in May...but that small bit of comfort was taken away pretty damned quickly. Too quickly.

I banked too much on him which was stupid. I had too many future plans laid out that starred the two of us.

Yeah, well, I'll never do that again.

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